


Ignis Scientia - Private Journal

by CatsRecipehs



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Ending, Canon Compliant, Diary/Journal, M/M, Noctis x Ignis, One True Pairing, POV First Person, Personal Growth, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsRecipehs/pseuds/CatsRecipehs
Summary: The private journal of Ignis Scientia, Royal Adviser to his highness Prince Noctis Lucis CaelumAfter receiving news of their sudden road trip, Ignis has decided to keep a journal of the group's time together. In a beautiful leather-bound book, he writes his account of their days along with feelings he has long kept suppressed. Take a peek inside his world.Multi-Chapter/first person mixed with conversation outtakes/Ignis x Noctis





	1. Day 1 - Insomnia

Tomorrow is the start of a great journey, and I have decided to chronical it in my own private words here in this journal. Perhaps one day I will share them with my companions, though the thoughts I will pour onto these pages will most likely be too personal to touch the ears of even my dearest friends. I am, after all, a very private person; but even private people have feelings, and not just about the weather.

This journey is unexpected, to say the least. A royal decree: Ignis Scientia, Gladiolus Amicitia and Prompto Argentum of the Crownsguard are to accompany Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum to the city of Altissa, where he will await Princess Lunafreya Nox Fleurent to take her hand in marriage, thus satisfying a condition of the peace treaty between Lucis and Neflheim.  It was announced swiftly and without room for questioning, something that really shook Noctis. He kept his composure, but the look of disbelief in his eyes was nothing he could hide from me, at least. I’ve spent my entire life studying him after all. I would go so far as to say I know him better than anyone, even King Regis, because that is my job. That is my life. Noctis…is my life. I’ve never actually wrote that out before, and reading it over makes me…well…proud. I digress.

I felt my own level of shock at the task before us. I am certainly no stranger to the political world, as I have sat in on many royal meetings in an attempt to take notes for Noctis. But peace between Lucis and the Empire just sounded so absurd. And why condition that Noctis be married? Married…Noctis can barely clean his apartment, or cook himself a meal, he is a young man and I…well. He relies on me for those things. He relies on me for many things King Regis did not understand.

When we left the royal chamber, Noctis pulled me aside and stared at me with deep blue eyes of panic that asked every question without saying a word. It would be alright, I had whispered to him without any cause to claim that it would be. Gladio stood with his large arms crossed across his muscular chest. Prompto watched Noctis with a look of worry. It was all hinging on me to work this out, but no matter. I prefer it that way. I told them this:

“Noctis, come with me to pack. Gladio and Prompto, go pack your things and anything else you think we might need for a long trip. We’ll meet later tonight at the apartment, as we will need to pack things up there as well.”

No one questioned me, most likely because they were all in the same state of shock.

Noctis’s room in the Citadel is my favorite in the building. It has a beautiful view of the city for miles below and all the accommodations one would need. It even has a small kitchen, which I used to cook if needed. Our walk there was silent, but as soon as the door had shut behind us, Noctis turned to me. I will try to recount our conversation here:

“Ignis, what the hell?! Did you know anything about this? How could you not tell me?!” Noctis said loudly in slight panic, his hand reaching out to grab my left arm. The act must have brought a look of surprise to my face, because Noctis immediately released me and looked remorseful for the action. I paid it no mind.

“Noctis, you must believe that I am in just as much shock as you are. I knew that things were starting to come to a head with the Empire, but whatever this is, this…peace treaty…I promise you I had nothing to do with it nor did I have any idea of it. And I certainly would have told you if I knew you were to be married,” I responded calmly but firmly, a tone that always helped to put him at ease in these situations. Always until now.

“What does me getting married have to do with peace, Ignis?” Noctis asked me, his tone still slightly panicked but less hostile now that he trusted I was not behind this craziness.

“I…can only surmise that it will help bring joy to the people of Eos?” I offered, but that answer was met with furrowed brows. “Noctis I really have no idea. Your father loves you more than anything in this world, and this rash action is very out of character. But King Regis has never done anything without just cause. I would offer to try to speak to him, but the things that are going on around here seem secretive and rushed. Why would he set the marriage of his only son to take place in Altissa and not here in the Crown City? There is a reason he is sending you away, and sending us with you. The only option we have right now is to trust in him.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one getting married to someone you haven’t even seen for twelve years,” Noctis muttered under his breath, turning away from me and heading to his bedroom.

I sighed heavily, not at the response of the prince but at the situation. Even now as I write this hours later, I still do not know what to think of things. I only know for sure that I feel strongly about what I told Notics: We have to trust the King. He has never before lead us astray.

I left Notics alone for a little while as I tidied up his kitchen and living area, really just to keep myself busy. When I heard nothing coming from his bedroom, I stopped drying dishes. Quietly I headed down a short hallway towards the prince’s room, peaking my head into the open doorway. Noctis was sitting on his bed beside a suitcase haphazardly filled with various clothing, his head hung as he softly tapped his foot on the ground. My heart sank to see him like that.

I sat down on the bed on the other side of the suitcase and remained silent. After a few minutes, Noctis turned to me, looking at me with eyes I had not seen since he was that scared little child who had nightmares of being attacked and almost killed. That little boy who would barely speak to me when we first met, but clung to my hand for safety all the same. Again we spoke:

“Iggy…do you remember when we were kids, when we used to sneak out right after dark?”

“Of course I remember,” I responded tenderly. “We would go to that pond not far from here. I’d carry your little tackle box and your fishing rod and you would always know the way. Had to catch the fish you wanted right after dusk.”

“Yeah,” Noctis said with a nod, the memory giving him a gentle smile, just for a moment. “You would bring a book and a light and just read while I fished. But when I caught one, you’d take out a journal, and you’d write down what we thought it was and draw a picture of it. …remember?” he asked, reaching into the suitcase now to pull out a small, worn leather-bond book. I recognized immediately what it was.

“Noctis…you still have this…” I said in quiet surprise, taking the book from him and opening the pages of memories long gone. There was my handwriting. My childish drawings. Noct’s handwriting of the dates and times he caught them. “Oh look…” I said with a chuckle. “I wrote down what ingredients I thought would taste good with some of these fish.”

“Yeah, unless it was really slimy, then you would say it wasn’t fit to eat,” Noctis added with a returned chuckle, but then his face fell serious again. “You…you would always take the blame when we got caught. You always stood up for me, even though my father knew it was my idea. Why…did you do that for me?”

“Because it…I…” I replied, then suddenly stopped. Because it was my job was an answer, but not the correct one. Really, I should have been keeping him from leaving unsupervised at all, but I never stopped him. Not once…and not once did he ever leave without me. “Because you were my friend. My…only friend. And you were the prince, but we were just kids, and well…I felt like we deserved that time, to just be kids. Kid friends. Friendly kids…you get my point,” I said, realizing that I was rambling in my emotion. I think my cheeks blushed just softly. They must have, because it made Notics smile.

“Best friends,” Noctis corrected me. “I know we’re older now, but…well we still deserve that, right? Time to not be formal…time to just be…us. So…if we have to go on this crazy trip across the world, then at least we’re going to bring this with us, and we’re going to fish like we used to. Will you help me again? My drawings were always worse than yours,” he asked with hope painted over his features.

I had never in my life been able to say no to him. I was certainly not starting with this request. “I would be honored, Noctis. And with my now expanded palette, maybe I’ll be able to come up with some new recipes…”

“Sure sure…just remember that my palette has not expanded and if you put vegetables on my plate I will give them right back to you,” he smirked. There it was, that sparkle of mischief in his eyes. He was more at ease and that put my own heart more at ease. One day at a time.

I helped him to finish packing after that, which consisted of me actually folding his clothing and picking out other necessities while Notics continued our trip down memory lane of all the times I had gotten in trouble for him. I smiled to myself as I watched him put a small wooden figurine of Carbuncle into the suitcase. Whatever protection that figurine offered, we would take it along with us.

Later that night, all four of us met at Noctis’s apartment as I had instructed. Packing those boxes felt odd. He would not need the place anymore. He would no longer be a bachelor when we returned.

Would he no longer need me? He would have a wife. Eventually children.

If I wrote in these pages that this thought did not bother me I would be lying to myself. I had always known in the back of my mind that this day would eventually come, but I am not ready for it to be so soon. That is the most selfish thought I’ve ever had but I am a person, too, and I am allowed thoughts and feelings even if Gladio thinks I can be robotic at times. My best friend, the man who came to me for everything - every joy, every fear, every joke, every cut, every nightmare, every smile – would now be going to her.

…mn.

There are a lot of fishing spots on the road to Altissa. I should map out each one of them, to ensure we do not miss a single fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hi on Twitter @coygoonersgirl :)


	2. Day 2 - Hammerhead

Things outside Insomnia have not gone smoothly. I’ll start from the beginning now that I have a quiet moment to record my day.

The weight of the task before us fully hit Noctis this morning as we stood before his father. I hadn’t seen him act so rebellious since his younger teen years, but I suppose given the context of the situation, I should have expected it. I had focused on King Regis’s face as we walked down the Citadel steps. There was a look of pained loss in his eyes, almost as if he felt it would be the last time he saw his son. Surely, that was not the case, but the more I think about it, the less certain I am of my confidence in that thought. Walk tall, he had said. The words hit us as hard as they had hit Noctis.

We were given King Regis’s car, the elegant Regalia, for our journey. It was certainly not as fast as Noctis’s car, but the Regalia offered legroom for four. I was entrusted to drive as per usual, which offered me a first-hand view of the world outside of the wall. It had occurred to me as I drove that I had never been outside of Insomnia. Of course, I had seen pictures of other places, but this view seemed as foreign to me as an alien planet. The tall structures out here are rock formations and trees, not man made mountains of brick and mortar. The air has a different feel to it, and more than once I had to stop to allow packs of large animals to cross our path. If Noctis had been awake, I think he would have found it fascinating. I’m certain Prompto got plenty of pictures.

I found that I preferred when Noctis was sleeping, as being awake left the car open to our new favorite topic of conversation: Noctis was getting married. I joined in on the “boys talk” and the jokes, but it was only so I was not hassled for any sign of silence on the topic. Truth be told, here in these pages?

I am jealous. But more so than any other emotion…I am heartbroken.

If I am to conceal these feelings outwardly, I have to place them somewhere inwardly. Here is the only place they are safe.

It is no secret to me that I have only ever had one love interest. Noctis had often questioned me, especially during the years when he did not view me so favorably, about why I never had a date. “I’m too busy to be bothered with that” I would say, or my favorite “I haven’t found anyone who has caught my eye”. The first line was always more believable, as the second was a straight lie to the face of the man my heart had chosen.

Go figure, as they say, that the only person in the world who had ever caught my eye was the one man I could not possibly hope to attain.

And yet, there he was, day after day. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Until death do us part.

She will be the one to say those words to him. Even in my wildest dreams I could not have thought it would have ever been me, but I could always dream. A dream of some beautiful life where goodnight was always signed with a faithful “I love you” and sealed with a kiss.

I can no longer hold to that dream, and yet, I am not ready to let it go. But it must stay locked away, and my emotion must stay in check. My companions are never far away.

I think this close company will take some getting used to on my part, though it is nice to have others to rely on. Like when, for instance, your luxury car breaks down miles from civilization, and no one bothers to stop to lend you a hand. Yes, that was…interesting, to say the least. I’ve never needed to push a car before. I’m glad for all of my endurance training, but I think Noctis and Prompto might have strained their King’s Knight muscles.

Mn…that is a good one. I should use that, it will make Gladio laugh.

Both thankfully and luckily we made it to Hammerhead without anyone passing out from exhaustion. An interesting pair awaited us there, Cid and granddaughter Cindy, who agreed to help us out with the Regalia’s repairs. The old man was focused on Noctis in the strangest way. It was like he knew him. I felt like I had seen him before, though, in an old picture of days long gone by, somewhere in the Citadel. The man did not seem open for questions, so I remained silent. Noctis simply blew it off. He was used to people inspecting him.

It was around the time the topic of conversation turned to money that we collectively realized we had none. Everyone looked to me, as if that had somehow been my responsibility. Obviously it should have been. I suppose I assumed King Regis included that in the things he had left in the trunk. No such luck. And then for me, things went from inconvenient to embarrassing during the conversation that followed:

“Ignis…? Are you going to die without Ebony? Or is it more like you turn into some kind of half man half beast creature?” Prompto asked with a look of genuine curiosity mixed with a smirk.

Notics could not resist joining in with a laugh. “Nah he just forgets things. One morning he was making me breakfast and I had to tell him he wasn’t wearing pants.”

“That is highly untrue, Noctis!” I said in a raised tone as I watched the pair of friends snickering at the thought. My cheeks must have been noticeably red, because Gladio interrupted on my behalf.

“We all know that if Ignis went from his place to yours without pants on, you would have needed members of the Kingsglaive to get him through the droves of woman that would have followed him there,” the larger man said with a smirk of his own. To Gladio that was both defense of character and flattery.

“Yeah…he’s right Noct,” Prompto chimed back in. “Iggy is quite the ladies man. …hey, how come you never introduce us to any of them, huh Ignis?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Prompto,” I said quickly and sharply enough to cause the younger blonde to cringe just a bit. “Now…just…go to the diner and make sure they have something there Noctis will eat. Gladio and I will take care of the money situation.”

At least I had imposed enough of a threat on the younger two men to cause them to drop the topic of conversation. Gladio knew me well enough to know when to back off, and so the rest of the day went as well as could be expected when in an unfortunate situation. It was odd, though. As we ran through the errands we needed to complete for Cindy to earn the money for the repairs, Gladio kept looking at me, as if he wanted to tell me something but knew it wasn’t the right time. I’ll admit I’m curious to know what it is, but happy enough to leave it alone.

He…couldn’t possibly know, could he? No…Gladio of all people would never guess the true nature of my feelings. Be still my panicked heart.

Oh, I forgot to mention. The man who owns the diner, Takka, has introduced us to the world of being Hunters. We even completed a few hunts just to earn the gil, as it is called. Well, at least I did. Gladio would have done it for free, and Noctis and Prompto would have been happier left playing Justice Monsters Five in the diner. At least our running around earned us enough to afford some supplies of curatives and a night’s stay in this trailer. The accommodations are hardly up to par for a prince, but Noctis seemed comfortable enough when he realized his only other option was to find a camping ground.

I should close this entry out now, but it would not be a faithful retelling of the day. One more thing happened. One more thing that only these pages can know:

“Iggy?” Noctis said as he came inside the cramped area of the trailer.

I was tidying up as the others sat outside. When I saw the prince, I looked up and offered a soft look of concern. “Yes Noctis? Are you hungry? We have more money if you want to eat.”

“No, Iggy, I’m fine,” he said with a gentle grin, then turned his look more serious. “Um…two things though. First…I’m sorry about before. You’re always taking care of everything for me. You’re always put together and elegant and perfect. I shouldn’t have said that, ok? So…you don’t get to be mad at me anymore, deal?”

“Noctis I wasn’t mad at you for that,” I said with a sigh, turning my attention fully towards the prince now. In that small space, he was so close. He smelled like hints of leather, cedar and vanilla from his favorite cologne, and mixed with the sweat of the day it was more than intoxicating. I could feel a tingling in my fingertips that would be easily satisfied if I just reached out and touched his face; if I just let my nails rake over the delicate skin of his neck. I was blushing from heat now, rather than embarrassment. I couldn’t let him know that. I had to play it off. “I just wasn’t expecting the topic of my love life to come up. I…you know I’m very busy and do not have time to date,” I said. Trusted excuse number one.

It must have worked, because Noctis seemed concerned. “Hey…yeah, totally understand, Specs. You’ll probably have more time, you know, after I’m married,” he said. There was a long, awkward pause on both of our ends, for what I assumed to be very different reasons. Noctis would break it. “But probably not, because I still need to be advised. A lot. And remember when you stitched this hole in my favorite shirt? Can’t even see it,” he said, taking a small step closer to remind me where the hole was.

A small step closer in a cramped area. He was practically against my chest, his blue eyes now locked on mine. I had no idea how to read this situation in a logical manner, so my instincts took over. I could grab him by the lithe hips and pull him to me. I could lean down and ghost my lips over his perfect jawline, sweep heated kisses down his neck and nip at his collarbone while he groaned into my ear for my attentions.

My pants were much tighter than they were before. I was no longer certain I was keeping my desires out of my expression. “What…was the second thing you needed to tell me?” I asked.

Noctis blinked, and I swear for a moment I had seen the same heated blush on his cheeks that had laced mine. Most likely, though, it was wishful thinking on my part. “Oh yeah! Come outside, we need you in King’s Knight. Gladio thinks his character is faster than yours,” he added with a smirk, taking a comfortable step back.

Reality was setting back in. My mind sighed and told my heart to wait until another day. I smirked back. “Then we will have to show him how wrong he is.”

Tomorrow we leave for Galdin Quay. Noctis is ecstatic about the fishing opportunities. I will close these pages now, looking forward to what another day will hold.


	3. Day 3 - Longwythe

Tonight we are camping. The light of the fire mixed with the grace of the moon is enough to add a quick entry to these pages.

It had been our intention once we left Hammerhead to make our way to the coastal port of Galdin Quay in under a day’s time. It was not that far of a drive, after all, and the newly tuned Regalia was handling better than ever before. But then again, why rush things? There seemed to be an unspoken understanding between Gladio, Prompto and myself that we would give Noctis as much free time as he needed. There was no great hurry to get to the alter on his part, after all. I could see the heaviness of the responsibility of marriage in his eyes with every step he took. If I could take the burden from his shoulders, I would do so without a moment’s thought otherwise. His turmoil has been and always will be mine to share, whether he knows it or not.

Luckily, there were a great deal of places and people on our path to sidetrack us from our destination, and one thing in particular seemed right up our alley. With Eos in short supply of hunters, the wild animal population was getting out of control. Gladio was quick to talk up the owner of the local diner we stopped at for breakfast this morning, coming outside to meet us with a deep grin and a laundry list of hunts. I will forever remember the look on Noctis’s face when he realized what was going on. The conversation still makes me chuckle:

“Hey guys, look!” Gladio called to the three of us who had scattered outside of the diner in the morning sun. I could see the look of mischievous fun on his face all the way from the car. “Look at these,” he said as we gathered around him, but I felt that he was addressing me more than the others. “This is like…almost 15,000 gil here. We need the money, and we’ll get some training in, too.”

I raised a brow at Gladio, who looked at me with everything but a wink. In all reality we did not need the money. We had enough to get us comfortably to Galdin and purchase our ferry tickets for the ride to Altissa. Noct did not need to know that. “We do need the money, and it never hurt to do some extra training,” I chimed in, Gladio repaying me with a grin.

“Let me see that,” Noct said as he snatched one of the top sheets of paper from Gladio’s hand. “Squash the squirmers,” he read aloud, Prompto looking over his shoulder. Noctis’s face as he read changed from quiet disinterest to dislike to disgust in less than ten seconds. It made me chuckle aloud.

“What’s the matter, Noctis? I thought you loved dessert,” I asked, stealing the moment to savor how the crown prince looked in the rising sunlight. Sleepy, but otherwise happy in the moment to be close to his friends, and happier to stick his tongue out at me in response to my comment.

“That…that thing looks sticky…” Prompto said with a look of confusion. “How do you stab it with your swords? Oh! I could shoot it. Prompto to the rescue!” the blonde said, gleaming with pride.

Gladio chuckled now. “Sure Prompto, you shoot away. Noct will be practicing his magic on this one,” he said, grabbing the paper back and pocketing them for safe keeping.

None of us mentioned Galdin, the trip or the wedding after this conversation. It was as if the four of us had left the Crown City just to see the world, explore and have fun together. As we split apart to prepare ourselves for the day’s activities, Gladio pulled the prince aside for a bit of warm up training.  I watched from the Regalia, pretending to sort through our stock of curatives. Noctis had grown into a focused, poised fighter. It was such a difference from the timid child he used to be, avoiding his training at all costs. I remember having to physically escort him to meet with Gladio, something the larger man never understood, nor did he care to understand at that time. It was alright, though, because that was my job; to understand, to be supportive, and to hold his hand. We would always let go of our touch, though, before rounding the corner to the training hall. Noctis never wanted Gladio to see it.

 The heir apparent was very much a man now, in every bit of the sense. The pride in Gladio’s face beamed as Noctis performed their new technique with precision and speed. When I discovered my eyes were not focused on the performance but rather scanning for each moment Noctis’s black shirt pulled up onto his waist to expose his bare hips, I had to turn away. It is a good thing counting items can quickly kill pent up urges.

Just as we all seemed ready to hike out in search of our first target, a vehicle pulled up outside the diner. It turned out to be a mobile weapon shop. With the looks on their faces, one would have thought it was a personalized birthday truck. I stayed at the car to refuel while they ran off, but it wasn’t long before Noctis returned. I should record this conversation here, if I am to learn from it:

“Hey Specs, look what I got,” Noctis said as he approached me from behind.

At the sound of Noctis’s voice, I turned away from the gas pump. When I saw what he was carrying, I was certain my eyes gave away my excitement before the smile that spread over my face. “Noctis, a lance! It’s exquisite…” I said, reaching to take the newly acquired weapon from the other man for closer examination.

Noctis could not hide his look of pride. It was the same look he would get as a child when we did our homework together and he would get the right answer before I would; not a feeling of condescending, but of joy in knowing that I would be both happy and proud. “Gladio said we had enough money to get one new thing now and we could get the rest later. They tried to make their cases for the broadsword and gun, but…well…you know,” he said. I might have noticed a blush on his cheeks if I hadn’t stepped back to try out simple movements with the lance.

“Noctis, this is a perfect choice. We can both use it. You’ve done very well in your staff proficiency training—“

“No Ignis, I got it for you,” Noctis interrupted, his eyes locked on mine. He was searching for something, but I had no idea what it could be. He was waiting for me to respond.

Respond, I told myself. Say anything, any of the thousands of thoughts of him that ran through my head on a daily basis would have surely sufficed. Why did I choose what I did?

I smiled. “Thank you, Noctis…this is more than thoughtful of you…oh, I know. Is this a gift for driving? Please rest assured that I will always be willing to drive,” I said with a chuckle.

Noctis blinked. “Oh….right…yeah, of course. For driving. Thanks Specs…you’ve always got our safety right there…you know…front and center…” he responded, his voice hollow. He tried to smile but only looked defeated as he turned to head back.

That was more painful to recount than I thought it would be.

In that moment, it was my fault. I was the one who took away his joy. I could see it in his gait as he walked across the street towards Prompto with his head hung. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to run after him and pull him into my arms, to hold him close and show him how grateful I was that he had thought of only me…but I was frozen in place. Frozen until I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I think I actually jumped at the sudden intrusion.

“You and me, we need to talk tonight. I can’t watch this shit anymore,” Gladio said over my shoulder, his voice deep in tone and low in volume. The two of us were friends, but we certainly never had deep conversations. This must be serious. “We’ll camp tonight. After they fall asleep, meet me at the fire.”

As I write, I can see Prompto and Noctis growing tired of their King’s Knight battles. Gladio, however, looks as if he can stay awake all night if need be. Admittedly, I am nervous.

I will close these pages for now. I dare say I soon will have more to add.


	4. Day 3 - Longwythe (cont)

My conversation with Gladio is over and now I find I cannot sleep, not just yet at least. His words are replaying through my head verbatim and with good reason. I will transcribe them here so that my mind may get some rest:

 

When the soft sounds of snoring could be heard from the tent, Gladio knew that it was safe. Nothing could wake Noctis up short of a bomb siren, and quite honestly, I think that he did not care if Prompto heard what he needed to say. It was only a moment before the larger man was sitting beside me, staring quietly.

“Yes?” I asked softly, looking back at Gladio. It was almost unnerving, as I could not figure out the expression in his light brown eyes. When they softened, however, I breathed a little sigh of relief.

“Ignis…how long have we known each other?” Gladio asked, the light of the fire illuminating his face as the sun had long been set.

“Since we were children. I would bring Noctis to you for training. Then when I started to go to school I saw you in classes,” I stated. It had been slightly difficult to be placed into normal schooling after my intensive education at the Citadel was complete. I knew no one in my class but Gladio, and I was a bit of a spectacle for a while to the other students. We did not speak to each other much at first, but soon enough we bonded over the person we had in common: Noctis.

“Right. Years. I think it took you…six months to sit and eat lunch with me instead of sitting by yourself. You were the most reserved person I’d ever met in my life. And then when you finally spoke to me more than just hello and goodbye, it was about Noctis,” Gladio said, giving a chuckle as a grin spread over his lips. “I remember that exact day. You had your lunch tray and you came over to my table and you all but slammed it down across from me. It was the most emotion I had ever seen from you so I told the other guys to go.”

I blinked, my mind quickly rewinding to that exact moment. That was really the first time we actually spoke outside of pleasantries? I had to chuckle softly at the memory. “Oh gods I remember, Gladio. I was so angry at Noctis. He was running for student body president, as his father suggested. ‘It would be good for the youth of Insomnia to see their future king in a favorable light’, King Regis had said. I had been up all night writing a speech for him to give at the assembly, and then he got up there and he just…he said that everyone should vote for Prompto!”

“Yeah…” Gladio responded, chuckling again as his eyes wandered to memories of the past. “I mean…that was pretty unexpected in the moment. But…well look back on it now,” Gladio said as his gaze moved over towards the tent, the two best friends still sound asleep. “Notics wasn’t looking for that kind of attention, and he knew Prompto needed a self-esteem boost. Got him elected, didn’t it? And it gave Prompto enough balls to enter into Crownsguard training after we graduated. Oh…sorry…uh…enough confidence,” he said, correcting himself for my sake with a smirk.

“I know, Gladio, and I…I wasn’t actually angry at him I just was surprised in the moment because I—“

“Because you were more upset that he didn’t just tell you he didn’t want it,” Gladio interrupted.

“Well…right,” I conceded.

“Do you know why he didn’t tell you?” Gladio asked.

“No, I honestly do not. I had always been there for him, ever since he was three years old and I was just five, knowing that my life would be devoted to this one person. I never questioned it. I never tried to hinder him and I always tried to do my very best for him as his advisor, at times as his caretaker and always as his friend. Why on something so…so trivial it seems now would he not simply tell me how he felt? I could have spoken to his father, or—“

“Ignis…shut up,” Gladio interrupted again, physically moving his chair closer to me now so that he could be sure he had my full attention. “He didn’t tell you because he was in love with you.”

My eyes must have been as wide as the moon above in that moment. I opened my mouth to speak, but for the first time in a great while I had no words. It was alright, though, as Gladio had more to say.

“I knew he was in love with you. I watched the ways he would look at you when you’d walk away from the training dojo, or when you’d pass by each other in the hallways at school. Anytime you called him “your highness” he would bite his lower lip to try not to frown, but when you called him Noct? His eyes would shine. Iggy…I never told you but he came to me before that assembly because he knew I knew, even if we never said it aloud. He was a mess. He didn’t want run for the position and certainly didn’t care what his father would think, but the thought of making you angry with him was enough to make him go through with it. I took that speech from him and put it in my pocket. I asked him whom he would vote for instead and he said Prompto. So I told him I would handle you and he could just tell everyone to vote for Prompto. Oh and I told him to say ‘Go Insomniacs’ at the end, you know, for school spirit.”

I raised a brow. “And that’s why you let me vent at lunch to you, and then talked to me about how Noct would still get the positive attention because he was always with Prompto. In fact, at the end of our conversation you had me convinced that it was better this way. I…well…when I called on Noctis that night and he saw I wasn’t angry he was over the moon but I had no idea it was because he…well…”

“Because he loved you, Ignis. Oh, and by the way? He still does,” Gladio added gently. For his size and stature, he could be gentle at the perfect times. This was certainly one of them. People did not appreciate his heart like they should.

“He does not,” was my first reaction, along with a stern look towards the darker featured man.

Gladio just chuckled. “Oh alright. So when he’s distracted at training it’s because he’s thinking about chicks? No, Specs. It’s because he’s thinking about you. It always has been. Don’t think I don’t know that you two used to hold hands all the way to the dojo and only let go just before rounding the corner, or how you would work so hard to cook him that dessert he likes. When we train, I let him talk about you for a minute and then he can concentrate on the lesson. Now look at this trip. He found out he has to get married, and all he wants to concentrate on is fishing and fighting? Any straight guy would kill to marry a girl like Lunafreya. Instead, Noctis is killing giant bugs with _you_ , Ignis. And hey, the next time he buys you a present, can you be a little more excited? Kills me to see his heart being broken like that,” Gladio said, his gaze still showing me kind understanding as he gave me a minute to soak in what he had said.

There was silence now as I stared down at my lap, the flickering firelight casting long shadows of our forms over the campground. Noctis was and is in love with me? I felt my mind flashing back to all the moments he had grasped for my hand, all the times he ran to me in excitement, all the memories we had shared over our years together, good or bad. That brightness in his eyes was for me. I felt my heart swell, my body filling with warmth that must have spread to my cheeks because Gladio placed a hand of support on my right knee. I lifted my gaze in a moment of vulnerability and connected with the larger man’s eyes. I could feel the tears softly welling in my own.

“Oh shit…” Gladio whispered, a look of surprise coming over his features, quickly followed by soft understanding. “You love him, too.”

I remained silent. I had never before felt so exposed. I lived a life of composure; but this man was one of my dearest friends. I could trust him. I had to.

“Iggy…” he said softly, shaking his head as the full weight of the situation was hitting him.

“What am I supposed to do, Gladio?” I asked in a whisper, all but choking back tears.

“Hey, Iggy, it’s alright. Um…I mean…we still have some time before we get to Altissa. He’s supposed to get married, but it’s not like he asked her yet or anything…really, technically, he’s still single…” he said, trying to grasp at straws that simply were not there.

I gave a soft smile to try to show my appreciation to him, but in that moment, we both knew the helplessness of the situation. Noctis was, above anything else, a prince. A prince who was bound to all the duties that came with his birthrights. More silence passed, until I could no longer bare to be in it.

“Gladio, thank you. You are a true friend,” I said, reaching out to give a squeeze to his shoulder as I sniffled softly, trying not to make it too noticeable. I needed to gather myself together again. “However things are destined to be, they will be,” I finally said. It was the only conclusion I could come to in my mind.

The thanks and the gesture made Gladio smile softly, and my words made him raise a brow in thought. It wasn’t an expression of defeat to him; it was one of lingering hope. “Right. Whatever will be will be,” he said as he glanced over to the tent. “Well, I’m turning in. Looks like they took up the middle and we have to squeeze in on the sides. More room there next to Prompto for a guy like me. Guess destiny wants you to sleep next to Noctis tonight,” he grinned.

I looked over to the tent to see that my friend was correct. There was a small bit of space next to Noctis and the wall of the tent. Whoever slept there would be practically spooning him. I could not help myself from returning his grin. “Fortune favors the bold, Gladio. I think I’ve earned that today. I’ll see you in the morning,” I said, ending our conversation with a nod of only the greatest thanks.

 

I love Noctis. No contract, no law, no royal decree could change that fact. The thought of him loving me in return, however, was never anything I had allowed myself to entertain.

I needed to hear it from his lips. My mind will not rest until I am assured of it being true.

Now the other three are all sleeping, and Noctis looks cold in the tent. I must keep him warm until it is time for breakfast.


	5. Day 4 - Galdin Quay

My talk with Gladio has given me a newfound confidence in an area of my personality I have never really explored: romance. Am I a romantic person? Would I be someone who would give flowers, remember important dates, or give small gestures of appreciation? Would I like to receive them? These questions flooded my mind as I cooked breakfast. I have to admit I caught myself smiling wryly as I thought about what sort of look would befall Noctis’s features if I surprised him with chocolates.

Noctis…I had slept closer to him last night than I have since we were children. I had been so bold as to curl up to his back, something that seemed to be welcomed in the man’s sleep as he lightly rolled back into me. Even if I went to sleep very late, I woke up this morning feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time. Noctis was still sleeping, of course. I wonder if he even knows we slept as we did.

Over breakfast, it was decided that we head for Galdin Quay without any further delay; not to immediately leave, but because all four of us were eager to see the beautiful coastal resort town. It went unsaid that there would be enough to do there to occupy our time for several days before we even had to look at the ferry. Prompto was able to capture Noctis’s beaming smile of approval at the thought of fishing in a photograph. It was one of those rare moments of pure joy that could not be fabricated. Thinking about it now still warms my heart.

I am still in awe of the landscape of the world. Growing up in Insomnia, we had always learned about other places and had seen pictures, but there was never a great need instilled in us as children to go out and explore. The opposite was true, in fact, as one of the first and most important lessons learned was that the wall protected us and helped our city thrive. We owed it all to the great Lucian kings: our wealth, prosperity, immense technological growth, our peace. None of the four of us had ever questioned it, to my knowledge. Certainly never Noctis or Gladio. Noctis did his best to escape the Citadel, but venturing outside the wall was never anything that was brought up in conversation, as Prompto pointed out during our drive:

 

“Hey Noct, can I ask you something?” Prompto asked, propped up and fully turned in his seat to face the passengers in the back. It was not the safest of positions, but it showed a level of trust in my driving ability, so I took the compliment.

“Huh? Sure Prompto, what’s up?” Noct responded, opening his eyes to look at his best friend. He would skip his mid-morning nap for the day in exchange for conversation that kept the car radio off. We were all growing tired of hearing reports of his nuptials, anyway.

“Do you feel like we’ve stepped back in time? You know…to a place that existed before we were even born? I mean look at these other cars that have passed us compared to the Regalia,” he said, his blond hair blowing in the warm breeze.

“Yeah…I guess you could say that,” Noctis said as he looked to his side, watching such a car slowly pass by on the opposite side of the road.

“They say the rest of the world is at least 30 years behind the technologies of Insomnia. I suppose I never gave thought to what that actually meant until now,” I chimed in, gladly taking the can of Ebony that Noctis had passed up front.  

“You guys haven’t seen the half of it yet,” Gladio added now, putting his book down to look at Prompto. “Nyx says there are beasts so big out here, it would make a house in the crown city look small.”

I could see Prompto’s expression out of the corner of my eye and it made me chuckle to myself. Wide eyed with amazement, Gladio must have gotten exactly the reaction he wanted. “W-what? No way Gladio!” Prompto said as he laughed, which caused Noctis to grin. Luckily I had the perfect view of him in my rearview mirror.

“Yeah Prompto, don’t you know what a behemoth is?” Noctis teased.

“Uh, yeah…it’s what they call Gladio when he swings his sword,” he responded with a deep smirk, his gaze turning to the man directly behind him for approval.

“He got you there, Noct,” Gladio chuckled, his features swelling with pride at Prompto’s compliment.

Noctis rolled his eyes but smiled as he put his hands behind his head in relaxation. “You guys woke me up from my nap to flirt? Gross.”

Prompto turned beet red and suddenly remembered how to sit properly in a moving car. Gladio elbowed Noctis and picked his book back up. Noctis winked at me, knowing I could see him. And me? I could only smirk in silence. Even I learn something new every day, it would seem.

 

All was forgotten the moment we pulled into Galdin. I could barely turn the car off before the others jumped out and ran towards the sand. Noctis headed straight for the water, stopping at the shoreline as he took a moment to soak in his surroundings. I met him at his side to point out the fish that could be seen in the clear water. We decided that after lunch we would take our first fishing excursion, conveniently during the time Gladio had promised he would take Prompto swimming.

With our plans set, we explored the small port together, avoiding a stack of papers that detailed Lady Lunafreya’s wedding dress. At the very end of the pier, we learned that the ferry to Altissa was delayed due to Empire blockade issues. A very odd gentleman named Dino recognized Noctis and assured us he would help secure tickets for our passage in exchange for completing a small hunt dealing with a gemstone. Gladio and I conferred and decided it was best left alone for the moment, as we were not planning to head out of Galdin quiet yet anyway.

Strangely enough, Dino was not the oddest person we met today. A man who called himself Ardyn crossed out path. I suppose the conversation we had was normal; at least, it would have been if he had been less…well…to be blunt: eerie. Again Gladio and I consulted after the confrontation. We decided it would be in our best interests never to leave Noctis alone with the man if we ever crossed paths again. Something about him seemed very familiar to us both, however, we could not lay a finger on it.

On a less serious note, I had a rather wonderful dish of grilled trevally for lunch. The sauce was light with hints of thyme and a local herb I was unfamiliar with until I had the chef show me the leafy plant they referred to as basil.  I could feel Noctis watching me as I was speaking to the chef; an attractive young woman who must be my age. I wondered if he was jealous. Something inside me made me laugh at a joke she mad that was not funny by any means. The slightest of scowls appeared across Noctis’s features, something only I would have noticed. He was jealous. I felt rather devious in that moment, but I was in controll and control is something I very much enjoy having at my disposal. That, certainly, is no secret to anyone who knows me.

Noctis’s reaction only made me want to spend more time with him. Prompto and Gladio had since left for the beach, so I walked with Noctis to get the fishing supplies:

 

“Iggy, you have the journal right?” Noctis asked me as he spooled his line and carefully picked out a lure. His equipment was beautiful as to be expected, but we were finding that Eos held a whole new world of fishing gear. We bought a few sets of everything without question.

“Of course, Noct,” I said with a nod, sitting down in a chair I set up for myself behind the prince. “Pencil sharpened. I’m ready to record your catch, whenever that is.”

“Imagine what we’ll fill those pages with, Specs. Did you see that magazine over at the stand? There are fish bigger than Gladio in some of these places!” he exclaimed with the same excitement he used when we fished together as children. It really was his passion.

“I saw. Do you wonder what they taste like? You know, Coctura told me we can bring whatever we catch to her and we can have it for dinner. I think that sounds perfect. I’ll have some more of that basil…” I said, but blinked once when I saw Noctis was staring at me now instead of watching his line.

“Her name is Coctura? …that’s stupid,” he said, snorting softly before he turned back around.

I chuckled at the prince’s back, trying not to smirk in delight. “Now Noctis, not everyone was graced with a perfect name like you were.”

“Yeah…I know,” he chuckled in return, but was quickly interrupted by a sharp tug on his line. “Iggy!!” he shouted, pulling up sharply on his pole to secure the line.

I stood then, moving behind the shorter man, blocking the sun from my vision to try to see what he was working with. “Steady now Noct, the fish looks large. Not monstrous, but it will test your stamina all the same,” I said calmly, looking down over his shoulder to see that he was letting the fish take a bit of the line as it thrashed in the water. When it calmed, he quickly started to reel, seeming to know exactly when to stop and repeat the process to save the strength in his line.

“Man…this thing is strong!” he said, sucking in a breath as he raced to turn the rod the correct direction. “Ignis…help me…” he said with baited breath, suddenly leaning back into my chest.

He had meant to shock me, and it did. I gave an audible groan as the man moved back against my body, my arms instinctively wrapping around Noctis as I helped him keep steady against the pull of the fighting fish. What control I had was now in the prince’s corner, and I could tell in his posture that he knew it.

“Hold it tighter, Iggy, I need your muscle,” he whispered between us. Revenge must be sweet.

“I...I’m trying,” I replied, still attempting to keep some sense of composure, but staring at Noctis’s exposed neck was winning out over the fish. He smelled of fresh air, sea salt and sweat from the high sun; a scent that made me bite my lip in a failed effort to control myself. I felt a bulge growing in my pants I had suddenly wished were not so tight. When I tried to inch my hips away, Noctis pushed his back.

The battle was almost over, and the muscles of the prince’s forearms moved quickly for one last reel of the fish. “You should hold me again tonight, Iggy,” Noctis whispered.

I gasped into his ear. He had felt it, or woken up to it at some point in the night. It took every bit of my will not to give in; to drown in his attentions and to let him know that there could never be another like him. And for as confident as Noctis was being, I could feel him melting into me, silently begging for the same devotion in return. “Notics…” I whispered, my lips just about to grace his earlobe.

“NOCT!!!” a voice suddenly shouted, footsteps pounding down the wooden planks of the pier. I jumped back, turning to see Prompto running towards us so fast I wasn’t sure he was going to stop. Noctis and I looked at each other for just a moment before we each tried to regain as much poise as possible in the few seconds we had.

Prompto was quite a site. He was wearing only a longer pair of swim shorts, his chest covered in sand as if he had been laying out in the sun. “Yes, you got one!!” he said, smiling and pointing happily to the fish that Noctis had just pulled out of the water; the fish I had all but forgotten about. “Man…look at how big!! Iggy you had to help him reel it in? That was nice of you.”

“Indeed,” I responded, clearing my throat a bit. That was a good story.

“Great, awesome…well…soak it in guys because I need it! See there’s this cat on the pier over there, and it really likes fish. So…the chef at that restaurant said I should bring her one and she’d cook it. Thanks Noct, you’re the greatest,” he said with a smile, grabbing Noctis’s hand and tugging him on to come along.

Noctis shrugged softly before he gave me a smile, quickly disappearing with Prompto and the fish. “I hope the cat enjoys my dinner!” I called after them.

 

That encounter still has me rattled. I came so close to giving in to what I now know we both want. Even as I write this, silly thoughts are coming to my mind. I should just run away with him. Leave. Flee to the other end of the world away from responsibilities, duty and loyalty to the bloodline. Of course, nothing could ever be that simple. My heart has chosen to fall at the feet of someone who does not get to control his own. I would be complicated like that, wouldn’t I?

I do not want to wallow in my own struggles. This is a beautiful day, and I should find the others to enjoy our time together. Most importantly, I need to ensure the stray cat is happy with its meal. I will put this book away for tonight and simply have fun.

We will stay the night in the hotel. Perhaps when I go out for the morning paper, the stray cat with a gourmet pallet will let me know if he enjoyed his trevally.

 


	6. Day 5 - The Dawn of the Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty prolific day in the life of the Chocobros, so Ignis will give it fair attention in his journal by splitting up his entries. For future reference, this story will continue through the course of the game, though Ignis will not record every single day as he has these first five for brevity's sake. Thank you all for your love, comments and continued enjoyment of this tribute to characters that mean a great deal to me. I will forever remain shocked that anyone besides my husband wants to read my words.

I did not think our world could change any more than it already had. How very wrong I had been.

The inn at Galdin was beautiful. There was plenty of room for the four of us to sleep in separate beds, but at some time during the night, Noctis had ended up in mine. I held him close to my chest, my body spooned around his back. He held the arm I had draped over him against his own chest, and the steady beat of his heart brought me into a bubble of blissful peace. Things in the world were not perfect, but in that moment, they were perfect to us. I think we both knew that this could not continue for much longer, even if whatever it was had only just begun.

I wanted desperately to have a moment alone with him to discuss it all: to map it out, make a plan, have a clear vision. Organization and precision are the core of my being. Noctis, however, was never one for planning. It was too finalized to him. Keep it abstract and endings could change, even if they seemed set in stone. Keep the facts out of the picture and fantasy could take a stronger hold. I tried to talk to him one two occasions last night after dinner, but he would just wink at me and strike up a conversation with Prompto instead. He knew me much too well, and, it would seem, he liked to see me itch. In the end, all I could do was sigh with a smile. He wanted to keep our bubble intact, where the feelings we had for each other were allowed to shine.

How could I have known what awaited us the next day? I wish I would have held to him longer. I wish I would have shut my mind off in regards to duty and kissed his flawless lips. Those lips were more mine than they ever would be hers.

Mn…move on, now. Jealously can never be worn in a flattering light.

Day had broken. I woke slowly as the morning sunlight drenched the room with vivid colors. Very carefully I left Noctis to sleep, moving towards the large windows to admire the most beautiful view of the greater world I have ever seen. It was so easy to forget that life existed outside of Insomnia. I dressed quietly so as not to wake the others, then headed out of our room and down the long pier towards the shore where the small shop was just opening. I was in such a good mood.

When I saw the newly delivered newspapers, a chill flooded me to the core.

“Insomnia Falls” the headline read. I’ve saved a copy of the article to include in this journal. As morbid as it may be, it is an important piece of our lives. In short, it stated that peace negotiations had fallen apart. That the Empire had struck a defenseless Crown City. That King Regis…was dead.

I stood staring at the paper in shocked disbelief for so long that the man in the shop asked me if I was alright. I simply nodded, gave him way too much gil and then hurried off down the pier. Today was no longer a morning for sleeping in. As I reached the door to our room, I took a breath and collected myself. I had to approach this carefully, and quite honestly, I needed a second opinion to tell me that my eyes were not playing tricks.

As I reached for the doorknob, it turned and the door opened from the other side. I jumped backwards at the unexpected event, leaving Gladio in the doorway to just stare at me. I will recall the rest of the conversation, as it is best read in narrative:

 

“Damn Specs, it’s just me. Why are you sneaking around?” Gladio asked, but then frowned as he saw the look on my face. I was obviously giving away more than I wanted to, so it was fortunate that he answered the door.

“Come here,” I whispered to him, motioning for the larger man to follow me to an unoccupied table. We both needed to sit down for this.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Ignis?” he asked as he sat. I slid the paper over to him.

Silence.

I watched his eyes as it traced over the article, then again over the headline. It was just as I had done, as if we had forgotten how to read.

“It’s in all the papers, Gladio. Every headline in the kingdom can’t be wrong…” I said, but Gladio did not respond; did not even look up.

Then it struck me: if the report was true, Noctis was not the only person to lose a father today. Clarus Amicitia would never have left the King’s side. I had no idea how to offer any sense of condolence to my longtime friend and it pained my heart to think I was not more adapt to express empathy. In an awkward gesture, I slid my hand across the table and rested it gently on top of one of Gladio’s. It was enough to make him look at me, and our eyes met. No words were exchanged, but he gave a squeeze to my fingers before pulling back from my touch. He was a true soldier, indeed, but even a soldier needed his friends.

“What else do we know?” he asked in a calm tone that would seem misplaced to anyone but myself. We both went through the same training. Control your feelings or they control you. Any personal grievances are second to our duty towards the Lucien royal family. Above all else, remain calm in the face of fear. The oath of the Crownsguard.

“Nothing. Our present journey seems inconsequential now. If the treaty was never signed, then the stipulation of Noctis’s marriage is null and void and so there is no need to hurry to Altissa.”

“Agreed. Altissa and Lady Lunafreya can wait. We need to go back to Insomnia to find out the extent of all this.”

“It might not be safe for us the-“

“Doesn’t really look like it’s safe for us anywhere, does it?” Gladio interrupted in a sterner tone, his eyes telling me he was not going to back down from this. He had to know about his father. About Iris.

I nodded once. “I know Noctis will agree. We…have to tell him,” I said, my voice softer as it betrayed the sadness I was trying to suppress.

“No. _You_ have to tell him, Ignis.”

I blinked as I took in those words. Giving me the sole responsibility of relaying the news of the death of King Regis took me back to one of the last conversations I had with his majesty in which he had relinquished all care of his only son to me. I thought it was very odd in the moment, but now…did he know of this eventuality?

“Gladio…they…they knew, didn’t they?  Do you remember what they taught is in tactical class about what needed to be done if you were in the face of complete surrender?”

“What…?” Gladio replied, taking a moment to soak in my words. I watched the realization of the scope of it all flow down his face as he softly nodded. “Move your most important men to a safe location as soon as possible. Create a diversion if necessary. Buy them enough time at all costs.”

“The Crown Prince of Light goes to Altissa. The Oracle is to meet him there. This…this was never about marriage to King Regis, this was about a convenient strategy to save the chosen king. His Majesty…your father…my uncle. They knew what was coming, Gladio. They knew they could not fight off the technological advances of Niflheim for much longer at their ages, and they knew Noctis wasn’t yet ready to—“

“Ready for what, Iggy?” said a sleepy-but-content voice from behind.

Noctis.

 I froze. Gladio froze.

A cheery Prompto moved to sit next to Gladio when he caught site of the headline of the paper. In horror, he turned to Noctis, who had just finished rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“What…? What’s that look for…?” he asked, his face quickly filling with concern.

No. Not like this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I stood quickly, staring at the prince I had so lovingly held last night, when his world was still whole. His perfect blue eyes were watching me with confusion mixed with an odd fear. He could see through me. He knew that I was not all right, which meant something was very, very wrong.

Noctis moved up to the table, leaning over my former seat to read the headline. “Wh….what? Is this some kind of joke?!” he stammered loudly, scanning all three of us. He grabbed the paper to read for himself, eyes scanning quickly until he read the one line that made his heart stop. “My…my dad is…dead?”

“We can’t be sure, we have to go find out for ourselves,” Gladio said, looking at me to encourage the idea I thought was terrible to begin with.

I sighed. “We really have no way of knowing without seeing. If we go back, it has to be under highest guard,” I said, then gave pause as I looked at Noctis. “Whatever you chose, I will be at your side.”

“Yeah…me too,” Prompto said softly. His best friend and his possible romantic interest had both potentially lost their fathers. He would not leave them now, even in the face of battle.

Gladio nodded. “Turn back?” he asked Noctis.

Noctis looked at each one of us in turn, first Prompto, then Gladio, and finally settling his eyes on me. “Yeah.”

 

I drove as fast as I could in the rain that had begun to fall. The weather seemed appropriate. I watched Noctis in the rearview mirror as much as I could. He was spouting out angry words as the others tried to console him, but I knew that look in his eyes. He wasn’t as much angry as he was afraid. Afraid that he did not get to say goodbye.

The dreadnaughts that were flying towards the Crown City above us did nothing to rest our nerves. When we reached the boarder, we found the Imperials had set up a checkpoint manned by MPs. Determined, we found a path and took it by foot in hopes it would at least give us view of our city. More MPs awaited us. The four of us fought together, killing machines as if they were the ones that had personally drawn the blood of our loved ones.

We reached a bluff. Explosions in the distance. Plumes of smoke rising over the towering city. We stared.

A radio signal caught Prompto’s phone. The reports were now stating that both Noctis and Lady Lunafreya were dead. The blond gunner dropped his phone in surprise, but Noctis shouted for him not to play any more news. He was done with reports. He needed answers. The prince dialed several contacts in his phone before getting an response. We all stared at him in hope, but the man on the other end of the line was not the one for whom we wished. Marshal Cor Leonis dealt the blow of cold, hard truth. King Regis was dead. Clarus Amicitia was dead. Insomnia had fallen.

We were to meet him at Hammerhead. We took one last look at the city, in essence, to say goodbye.

As Prompto and Gladio took lead to head back to the car, I put my hand on Noctis’s shoulder to stop him. We stared at each other in silence under the falling rain, but I could see that there were some drops on his cheeks that were not the fault of precipitation. We spoke these words:

 

“Noctis…we will not leave your side,” I said to him with as much resolve as I could find in the moment. Even I was shaken, but resolute to remain strong.

“Ignis…” he said softly, turning to see that the other two were out of earshot before he stared at me again. “Iggy what the hell?!” he said, using the same words in the same tone as he had the night he found out he was to be married.

Empathy was difficult for me to find for others, it seemed, but never for Noctis. My expression softened and without a word I pulled the other man into my chest. He gripped to my jacket, letting out tears of sorrow and regret into the pleats of my shirt. He had every right to cry and I wanted him to feel no shame in it. I leaned down and rested my head as close to his as I could.

“He was a good dad, Iggy,” Noctis managed to say in a whisper between us.

“Indeed he was. And a great king,” I responded.

Noctis pulled back just a bit, turning his face towards mine, our lips nearly touching. It was the closest we had ever been. “Now it’s my turn. Whatever it means to be the chosen king, I’m going to find out soon enough. I can’t do it without you…”

“You will never have to,” I quickly added, the heat of our breath between us drawing me even closer. “Noctis, do you remember those stories we wrote when we were children? Anytime I wrote ‘King Noctis’ you would write ‘and Ignis’ after it. I swore to you then that would always be true,” I said as I paused, feeling that tears had reached my eyes as well. This was not how the prince was supposed to ascend to the throne. I quickly blinked those tears away, and then continued. “Have I ever gone back on my word, King Noctis?”

“Never,” Noctis said. His eyes closed, he leaned in, and without any hesitation from either side, our lips were suddenly locked in deep embrace.

My instincts took over in the moment, arms tightening around the other man to keep him close as I tilted my head further into the kiss. His lips parted and my tongue darted into his mouth as I felt his fingers tangling into my hair. His tongue was eager to welcome mine, and we danced in wet rhythm as the world around us melted away.

This was not the time or the place, my mind kept telling me, but I shut it out with this justification: Any time Noctis needed me was the right time. Anywhere Noctis needed me, I would be.

As I pulled slowly back, I brushed my fingers down each of the former prince’s cheeks to dry away any evidence of tears. “It is time for us to solider up, as Gladio would say,” I said softly. “Let’s go speak with Cor. This is not the end for Insomnia.”

Noctis nodded, gathering his composure. “And just the beginning for us,” he added. He took my hand, and we headed towards the Regalia. The Regalia. The last gift, it would seem, from father to son.

No.

Life. Life was the last gift. Thank you, your Majesty. May you rest in peace knowing that the King of Light will reign over any darkness.

 

So much more happened on this day. I will record it tomorrow. For now, my eyes beg me for sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hi on Twitter @coygoonersgirl :)


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